he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
