Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
