come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
