Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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