We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
