i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wish there were birth control emojis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
