i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
