it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
