Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
