Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
