you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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