There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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