I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
