Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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