its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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