I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do vagina's smell?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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