just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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