There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
