the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
