ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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