I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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