I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize