so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
