"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
