party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's shark week go big or go home
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