I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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