Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
