I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
