We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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