D3 body, D1 cock
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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