So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We had to coat check the pizza.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
