My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
