ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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