My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Still dying that you shit outside
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize