Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
