either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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