I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
