i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I forget how to act sober
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
