I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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