He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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