She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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