Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
