Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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