Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
