Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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