oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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