Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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