Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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