Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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