singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
