So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
