Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
