Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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