this boner is exhausting
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
