he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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