I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
