Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this just has baby written all over it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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