So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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