I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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