do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
