Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize