So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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