I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
