You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
