I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how does that bad decision feel?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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